STDCO Newsroom
Stay informed about the latest breakthroughs in Solana Trench Disease research, treatment approvals, and company updates.
Latest News
Breaking NewsThe FDA has granted full approval for HarDildo (harDildonium chloride) following successful Phase III trials showing 94.7% efficacy in treating severe cases of Limp Pump Syndrome in crypto traders. Joe Biden participated in these trials, and Jill has not stopped smiling since.
Major UpdateIn an unprecedented move, Medicare has approved coverage for diamond-encrusted DiaDik devices, recognizing CRD as a legitimate medical condition affecting crypto traders nationwide. Female treatment called DiaVag coming soon!
STDCO researchers publish comprehensive study in the Journal of Crypto-Medical Sciences showing correlation between Dogecoin holdings and involuntary bodily functions.
Binance, Coinbase, and FTX 2.0 to implement mandatory STD screening for users showing signs of excessive trading behavior and portfolio volatility.
The International Association of Meme Medicine recognizes STDCO's groundbreaking work in treating crypto-related medical conditions with luxury therapeutic devices.